Monday, July 8, 2013

Where Do I Go From Here?

Wow, it has been foreeeeeever since I last posted on here.  I should fill you in on all of the details?  Well, I am not exactly sure where to start.  Since I started this blog to be about my weight loss, I will address that first.  Up until about July first I wasn't focusing on it at all.  In fact, I was probably focusing on the opposite.  I wouldn't say I was doing it on purpose, but I knew the choices I had been making were not going to lead me to positive results.  Make no mistake about it, losing weight is a complete lifestyle change.  I know I wont reach my goal overnight, but it shouldn't take me this long.  I often get caught up in thinking, what if I had not made bad food choices for those last three weeks?  that tail spin makes it even worse because I eat for emotional reasons!!!

On July 1st, I decided to start making baby steps to getting back on track.  My priority is getting in to the best health possible.  Who doesn't want to be able to buy clothes from the middle of the rack, but number one is getting healthy so I may be on this earth for as long as the big man, GOD, wants me here.  To date, my work outs have been good.  I am trying to get a level of cardio so that I can really close the year with some amazing intense work outs.  I am starting small and working my way to a place where I feel like I can really make hay. 

My diet, oy....  Has been ok.  Not good, but certainly not bad.  I need to make this my focus.  I need consistency.  How does a single dad do that????  I am not for sure, have you tried making meals with a 4 year old and a 2 year old?  It, I am a work in progress.  I am going to start blogging on a regular basis.  It is my release.  Twitter, it make me so connected to people who simply get my struggle.  Not only do they get it, they embrace it, and me.

I am also in a spot in which I am trying to figure out what I want to do with my professional life. My main focus is on losing weight.  For so long I had given up on myself.  Within the last two years though I have found part of what I lost.  I am worth it.  I wont give up, I will get it!

Sunday, February 24, 2013


Yes, I still have a blog; it feels like and has been forever since I have written a post that I wanted to share.  I recently finished my college degree, and for so long that was my focus.  Since then, I haven’t really dedicated myself to something other than growing my friendships and relationship.  This last weekend my friend Kenlie visited.  During that weekend I made some food choices that my body didn’t like….  The scale hasn’t really moved much for me in any direction, but I know I cant continue these eating patterns and be successful with my weight loss goals. I have lost weight before, recently and long ago and I know what I need to do in order to be successful, I just have to do it.  I don’t have a good reason to be eating badly, I just did it.  I made that decision.  That being said, I need to think before I eat…  I have decided that my weight loss needs to be my focus, like school was.  I have decided that I want to try and get in to pharmaceutical sales.  In order to do so, I need to do a few things… 

I need to upgrade my wardrobe, and I need to get to a point where I think I would look good, or hirable in the medical environment.  I like to look nice, but to be honest, as a larger guy it is hard to buy nice clothes, especially as my weight changes.  I need to really spend the next 6 months getting this in order.  It is sad that it is necessary to do so, but the reality is larger people, fat people are discriminated against, and it is completely legal.  As a large guy, I never hated myself, but sometimes I hated how I had to look because of the clothing choices that I had available to me… 

I have decided that my goal is to lose 60 pounds by June 1st.  My birthday, what better way to celebrate my birthday!?  I know I can do it.  I just need to apply everything that I have learned over the years…  The bottom line is something I call “want to” you have to want to do something.  Regardless of what it is that you want, you have to make it a “want to...”  In order to grow something, you have to care for it like you want it to grow…   losing weight is like growing a plant, instead of watering the soil, we hydrate our bodies, instead of pruning leaves, we cut out certain foods….  I had this “want to” with my education; I did the things needed in order to get the result that I wanted.  My gift for achieving this goal is 500 dollars to upgrade my wardrobe. 

I am going to achieve this goal by focusing on my diet and exercise habits.  My goal is to intake no more than 1500 calories a day and I will exercise every day!  If I do those simple things, I will achieve my goals.  It really isn’t anything special; just making good decisions over a period of time.
Have you ever achieved a goal and then had a period of time where you werent focused on something?

Thursday, December 13, 2012

A New Year, A New Career

Wow...  This post is likely going to be all over the place, by design of course. As most of you know, I am a Social Worker.  I determine benefits for the SNAP/Food Stamp program, as well as other government entitlement program benefits ranging from child care to Medicaid.  Next Thursday, I will be finished with my undergraduate degree from Nebraska Wesleyan University and I am deciding on a few different universities for my Masters degree. 

This year has been a hard year, a good year though.  It is time for me to change careers.  I have recently applied for a few different companies.  I am not for sure what I want to do, but I know I need to be in a career where I foster relationships with people.  Immediately, I think of pharmaceutical sales, a position as a buyer, something in the insurance industry. 

I have done so much with my life, I have lost 170 pounds, I am graduating college, I have done things some never or couldnt do.  My greatest accomplishment is never giving up on my education.  I didnt do it like most do, but I didnt quit.  I did it while I had kid, a family and a full time job.  I will achieve all my goals.  I just have to realize they wont always happen in the time frame that I want them to.

I am refocusing now on my diet and exercise needs.  This is the next step...  Time to finish this process, one I started long ago.

Have you ever had a year or a time period in your life that was hard, but it was a good year at the same time?  What goals have you accomplished, what is your greatest accomplishment?

Saturday, December 8, 2012

My Trip To the Big Easy

What a whirlwind few weeks...  School is coming to a close, my weight loss has taken a holiday pause and I made an awesome visit to an amazing girl.  I am sorry I have not posted in some time, life has been so crazy.  The only down side is my diet has taken a short vacation and I am trying to get it back.

One of the greatest quotes my father ever told me was "sometimes in life there are things we cant go around, we must go through them".  I feel this year has been that for me, I have experience many highs and many lows but I finally feel like I am busting through the door on what could be some great things.  I am not making one New Year's resolution this year, but I am making a list of things I want to accomplish in the next 12 months.  That will be a post for another day, but for now I must tell you more about my fabulous trip.

I am trying to get more pictures of my trip from my old phone to my computer but I have not found out how to do that exactly...  Here are just a few...

I remember stepping off the plane and being nervous, then I saw her wearing that amazing smile. I remember walking up to her, hugging her and giving her a gentle kiss. She is so amazing. Her smile brightens my day and her voice makes all the bad things of the day go away. I am so lucky to have met her. I will be seeing her soon, hopefully on Christmas Eve and then again in early January and February.
Miss Kenlie, or @alltheweigh is everything I could have imagined and more.  We spent lots of time together, from hanging out and crafting on the bayou to shooting pool and getting a great Christmas tree.  I was able to meet so many of her friends, they are all so nice.  I gave her a few of the gifts that I got her as well as the treasure chest full of Trader Joe's items she requested.  I will be going back to New Orleans, not if, just when...
I was able to relax with her and just enjoy myself.  It is so nice spending time with someone who understands the things I have been through.  She is so kind, so genuine, so nice.  I enjoyed all of my time.  Even the time when I joked with her on how to pronounce Bayou Lafourche. Spending time with her just felt right.  I cannot wait to take her on a date when she visits...  I have plenty of time to plan it, but I wish it were tonight.

Monday, November 12, 2012

Life is about sacrifice....

I am a firm believer that life is about sacrifice, and it isnt always an easy battle.  Sometimes we have to make blind sacrifices in order to be happy.  What are you willing to give up in the short term to be successful in the long term?  This is the rule, not the exception.  In my weight loss journey so far I have had to make sacrifices.  Sacrifices of time, money, and in some instances, taste!  However, the end result, hell, even the result to date is all worth the sacrifices.
I am willing to make sacrifices in all sorts of areas in my life.  After a nasty, short marriage and an even nastier divorce, I have found that I do not need any one in my life to be happy.  However, I want someone in my life to share the moments with.  Relationships are no different.  I want someone who wants me.  I want someone who isnt to busy looking for the next one, or going back to the old one to realize what they have.  I want someone who wants to see something through.  Maybe this is what is wrong with the world today.  How can you enjoy what you have when you are constantly looking for something or someone else?  I am worth more than that.  I want someone to show me the same level of commitment that I show them.  Someone whose first instinct isnt to run or cheat on me. Someone who understands the value I have. 
Today I sacrifice my time.  In the last few years I have been employed full time.  A full time student, a full time dad.  A full time handyman, I bought and remodeled a foreclosed home.  I graduate in a few weeks and will have so much time...  Oh and right now I have a part time job on top of it all....
I have been through a lot in my life, and hopefully will be able to move sometime within the next year or so hopefully away from Nebraska, it is something I need, for me.  I carried my best friend to his final resting place in the best shape of my life...  After that I ate, non stop until I realized what I was doing. Today, I want to get back to that healthy spot.
I am tired of sacrificing but I will continue until I get to that spot.  I feel like I am as close today as I have ever been.  My satisfaction comes from the fight, not the though of achieving it.  I can accept failure, I cant accept not trying.

There is always a sacrifice, the question is an internal one.  Do you have the strength the to put certain desires to bed in order to enjoy the fruit of the harvest?  Do you have the will power to succeed?  The fact is; many cant.  Those that cant usually are never satisfied in the end result.  They believe they did all they could, without looking internally to ask if they really did everything they could.  No one deserves anything, it is about what you earned.  There is a huge difference in those two sentiments..  IT isnt the number of hours one puts in, it is the work put in during those hours that counts.

Commit to something, see it through.... 

My hope is that whoever reads this, leaves and makes a decision to stick to something, see it through, you will see results.  The results may not always be the desired results, but you will get them none the less and in that moment you will have satisfaction knowing you did all you could.


Monday, November 5, 2012

Friend Makin Mondays: Ten Things to be Thankful for

Ugh, today I am home with a sick child.  So, after making her some cheese toast it was time to participate in my first Friend Makin Monday.  The last year has been a wild and crazy one, but one in which I have so much to be thankful for.  I have really changed so much in the last few years.  I am so much more mature.  I value parts of my life that I didnt value before.  I value myself more.  I hope to make Friend Makin Mondays a weekly thing.  So, while Hailey mows down this chese toast...  Let me tell you the 10 things in which I am thankful for...

If you’ve taken part in FMM then you know the rules. If you’re new, please take a moment to answer this week’s question on your own blog then add your link in the comments section here at: so we can all see your FMM questions and answers. Please invite your blog readers to add their links here too so everyone has to opportunity to be seen. The idea is to connect with other awesome bloggers so take a moment to post your own FMM post and comment on a couple of other posts. Now it’s time for this week’s topic!

Ten Reasons To Be Thankful
1. I’m thankful for my family.  My mom and dad, sister and her family are so awesome to me.  I dont know where I would be today without them.
2. I am thankful for my health, and the health of my family.
3. I am thankful for the warmness in my heart that you bring to me, yes you.  She is such a caring and amazing woman.  I cannot wait to see her at the end of the month.  I want to hold her, and tell her how much she means to me.  I found her or she found me when I doubted true feelings existed anymore.  The thought of someone being there just to be there is a great feeling.
4. Football... Are you kidding...  Without football life would be boring.
5. I am graduating college in just a few weeks.
6. A roof over my head, a car and other amenities that others do not have.
7. The ability to enjoy life for its natural gifts.  The best things in my life have been free. 
8.  I am thankful that I am a forgiving person.
9.  I am thankful for my life experience, for a while, I was a pretty jaded person.  I had been burnt so many times I felt like just giving up on something.  I am glad I didnt.
10.  I am thankful for the new year.  I will be getting a new place so very soon.  I cannot even put in to words how thankful that makes me.

Now it’s your turn to answer this week’s question!  Don’t forget to come back and link up in the comments!  Happy Monday!

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Living in the Moment

This sounds so cliche, however; it is probably the most important aspect of my weight loss journey.  When I talk about living in the moment, it isnt living every day for the current moment, it is litterally living in that moment.  In a broader sense, I have a goal to lose 279 pounds, Yes, it is a crazy goal but my focus isnt on losing all 279 pounds, it is about doing the little things that get me to losing 279 pounds.  In football the goal is to win the game, however; if you dont win the first, second, third and fourth quarters, or some combination of them, can you win the game?  If you break it down smaller than that, if you turn the ball over and have penalities can you win the game? 

For me, living in the moment is doing everything that gets me to my goal.  For me it is making health food choices every day.  It means skipping the desert menu at a restaurant.  It means going to the gym 5-6 days a week.  It means focusing on doing every repition right when lifting, it means finishing my runs.  The moments in life arent by chance, the are caused by preperation.  That when I step on the scale I have won more of those moments then lost.  Knowing this allows me to not be overwhelmed, it allows me to not binge eat or stop exercising.  I look back at every moment when I felt failure, I didnt fail at that moment, I failed at moments that led up to that. 

I made this choice last night...  I could have drank a few beers and watched baseball.  After having a internal discussion, the thought of seeing the scale move down, the thought of all those good decisions I have made this week versus having a few set backs wasnt worth it...  I drank my water and finished watching that baseball game.

I remind myself daily to check my decisions, is this getting me to where I want to go?  Do you live in the moment so that you can achieve your goals?  Do you reflect on the decisions that you make on a daily basis?